Hollywood Sex

Ever wonder if a steamy shower scene is plausible. Have you ever tried it? Did you slip on a bar of soap and end up in the hospital for throwing out your back? What about sex in the woods. Being one with nature and treating those mosquitoes to a family buffet on your butt. Tree bark is not soft and fuzzy. In fact, it's teaming with ants and mites just crawling up and down the trunk. Wanna get it on? Here's a better one: wooden staircases. Boy meets girl. Boy decides girl is hot. Boy takes girl to staircase. They get it on. Girl throws back out... again. ER room triage nurse: "Crazy Sex Girl is back!"

Do you see what I'm getting at? Hollywood sex is fake. And very painful. Unfortunately, unsuspecting innocent couples watch these hot sex scenes then decide, "Hey, we can do that!" This is why ER rooms are crowded. Ever wonder what he really means when he explains, "Oh I... just... dropped her on her head because we were... nailing a picture to the wall." Emphasis on "nailing."

Can a whole sex encounter last thirty seconds on a piano without a visit to the chiropractor the next day? Can someone go five and a half hours in a hot tub? Does everyone look all pretty and glowy and not sweaty at all going at it in bed? Do all girls need big fake boobs and small non-existent butts and thighs? Is doing it next to a factory building sexy? Or even the railroad tracks? Whaaaat?

What about the standards that everyone have seemed to internalized? Sex is supposed to be steamy, passionate, crazy, kinky, short, long, orgasmic, you name it, they filmed it. It creates a pressure on relationship, on performance, on expectations. Now, every women out there believes that other women do kinky, dominatrix type action in bed and they're the only one too afraid to try. Every guy out there believes that when sex doesn't last thirty seconds, but instead, four hours, that they're supposed to keep it up that long too.

And what about those "ideal expectations" we have come to idealize? How should a woman be beautiful? She should be tall, skinny, and more often than not, blonde. How should a man be attractive? Six pack, strong arms, and smoldering, dark eyes. Men should always know exactly the right things to say. They should always know the correct compliments to lavish on a woman. The seduction dance should be sexy and steaming, causing the two people to fall into bed instantly. Women should know how to strip correctly. They should be willing to indulge in men's kinkiest fantasies. (Which tends to lead the couple right back to the ER. Maybe that's why medical dramas are so popular.) And awkwardness... the curse of the first-time sex dance... is a censored word. Awkwardness, in the world of Hollywood, does not exist. Because everyone knows exactly what to do.

Which is not true! Honestly, we're pretty dumb people when it comes to being between the sheets. We barely know what we want, much less what the other person wants. We're going to accidentally step on painful body parts. We're going to fall off the bed at one point or another. Maybe, we'll even have a horrific experience one night with a date; and no, it will not be funny in a Bridget Jone's way.

What do you think? Have you ever considered how movies and tv shows have influenced the way we think about sex? How it has an effect on our expectations? The media can be an extremely powerful thing. It has to be if it can shape our way of thinking with such an intimate thing.

I'm writing a research paper on the effects of Hollywood's exhibition of sex on intimacy in real relationship. I would love your opinions and may use them in my paper if you don't mind. If you don't want to comment, you can message. Don't worry about being embarrassed. I'm writing about sex in school for Christ's sake!

Thanks for reading!